Back to 2017 Briefly.

 In 2016 I began having symptoms again, after the previous tumour outgrowth seemed to have regressed completely, after radiosurgery follow-ups to brain surgery (see earlier entries). General rejoicing and MRI checkups downgraded to once a year again. 

But then...

July 2016, my right arm felt heavy when I lifted it to the side, and shortly thereafter I couldn't lift my arm to the side at all. Then I noticed that my right sternocleidomastoid muscle (the visible muscle down each side of the neck) had disappeared. I knew enough by now to realise that this - and the lack of arm lifting - meant that the accessory nerve was compromised, which meant that the tumour was growing again and far sooner than we expected.

This was followed in quick succession by partial loss of my voice, together with bouts of coughing and a tightness of the throat. An ENT checkup confirmed that my right vocal cord was paralysed (though, luckily, the gag reflex was intact) and a hastily called for MRI scan confirmed that the meningioma was indeed growing again. My surgeon said we would go back to active biennial MRI scanning, as the tumour was not yet large enough to warrant an operation.

Though I said nothing at the time, I was quite depressed, since I knew from what I'd been told by my oncolgist that radiation was not an option any more - and if the tumour grew at this rate, how may more operations could I reasonably have before the tumour became inoperable? So, this time was very dark.

In rapid succession, I lost my voice, my balance (I became dizzy if I changed direction quickly or tried to go up or down a few stairs), and my ability to eat solids. I also began to vomit suddenly and nearly daily. It was most disheartening to take nearly 15 minutes to eat a soft-boiled egg, only to vomit it up again! I also got muscular spasms on the right side of my tongue (termed fasciculations - it looked as though worms were wriggling inside my tongue and felt like tiny electric shocks). All this besides the by now familiar headaches and stabbing pains in my right ear. I learned that meningiomas tend to grow in different directions each time. Hence the different symptoms this time. I also (as in 2010) lost weight precipitously. In part this was due to poor eating capacity and vomiting, but the weight loss was in part due to cachexia - where the body wastes away. This is common for cancerous growths but it can cause death in itself when the weight loss becomes uncontrollable. So I was doubly worried.